We’ve all been there, romantically disappointed, wanting to find a committed partner to share our lives with or desiring more connection from an existing relationship. There’s no doubt intimate relationships can sometimes feel like we’re navigating through a carnival maze with blindfolds on. The good news is, whether we are single, dating or married there are guiding principles we can follow to jump-start our feminine energies and have men desiring genuine connection and closeness.
Below are several game changing intimacy truths that can transform your relationship today.
- Be Intentional with Your Energy– All women radiate a unique personal energy, which either draws men towards them or causes them to run for the hills. The essence of the energy we extend, which is formulated by our thoughts, will determine the types of relationships and opportunities we attract. The behaviors, thoughts and vibrations of people closest to us are mirrors of our own. Openhearted frequencies will pull towards us openhearted people. Albert Einstein once said, “Everything is energy. Match your frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. This is not philosophy, its physics.” The more intention we put in to guiding our thoughts to identify what’s perfect about imperfect situations, the lighter and more attractive our essence. What do we do in the presence of a man who emits an aura of tension or anger? Exactly. Men are no different, they desire being in the presence of women that give off positive light-hearted energy.
- Identify Shared Values– One of the cornerstones of a happy intimate relationship is shared values. Values are what are most important to us. They drive us forward and we identify with them in a positive way. When we share our lives with a partner that has similar values we feel in sync, for values are a critical part of who we are at our hearts’ center. For single women, taking the time to recognize our own values will save us from investing too much time with Mr. Maybe’s. If we know tranquility is high on your values list and a potential partner thrives on big rollercoaster emotions, this could be a good indicator to evaluate long haul compatibility. Women in committed relationships will also benefit from pinpointing personal values as well as those of their significant other. Acknowledging that our partner’s actions stem from a different set of values than our own, makes it much easier to understand their point of view and resolve conflicts.
- Get Off the Bad Boy Train– Most often women gravitate towards emotionally unavailable men when they’ve experienced some form of rejection or abandonment as children from one or both of their primary care givers. As adults these women often seek out these familiar painful childhood emotions in their intimate partners. According to Dr. Harville Hendrix best selling author and co-creator of Imago Relationships International “we look for someone with the same deficits of care and attention that hurt us in the first place.” A preliminary step to breaking this cycle is acknowledging we are not predestined for these types of relationships. An effective option for stepping off the bad boy train is investing in our personal development and self-love. This can be achieved through self-healing books, joining spiritual groups, practicing mindfulness meditation, working with a certified life coach or cognitive behavior therapist. Taking consistent steps to shift paradigms that are no longer serving us can become our biggest point of power. For more in depth information on this subject read Keeping The Love You Find by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D or visit Dr. Margaret Paul’s website com
- Respect Him– Extending respect to the men we love is essential to establishing and growing intimacy. According to Laura Doyle relationship expert, the #1 thing men want is respect. She believes that for men respect has greater value than even sex. This means honoring his decisions even if we do not agree with them. It can also be expressed by accepting their personal “man” time, having consideration for their work, family and interest in their ideas. It is natural for us to want to express disapproval when we feel he is doing something wrong, but this quickly turns us in to nagging mother figures which is everything but sexy. It comes as second nature for most men to desire feeling like the king of their jungle. They want to protect and provide for their women. In order for men to naturally engage in their basic instinct, we in our beautiful feminine spirit should feel encouraged to treat them like capable human beings. When we express our confidence and expect the best from them, often times they will present us with just that.