DEAR REPRESSED EMOTIONS,
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“Im on the path to being somone Im equally terrified by and obsessed with. My true self.”

~Troye Sivan

Welcome to a new year, beautiful!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my fill with all the social media rah rah of New Year New You. I think this phrase is a crock and sends a message of you’re not enough without purchasing, signing up to or altering some part of you. No-one needs to become someone new. We’re brilliant beings with our own quirks, our own crazy and our own radiance. We just need to take a big step out of the rational mind, and listen to the voice that speaks when we are most at peace.The part of us that knows there is NO WAY we are not going to show up, stand tall and live the life we were meant to.

I’m happy to be writing on repressing emotions because it affects pretty much everyone in one way or another. It could be with your boss, your silent mom, or friends that escape to a magical world for weeks on end.

Although repressed and suppressed feelings are often swapped around, their meaning is different. Repressed emotions are when unconsciously our mind decided -without asking our opinion- certain emotions were not ok. So, in an effort to protect you, it made them dis-appear. Suppressed emotions are when we consciously push feelings away.

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Here’s the thing, repressors (totally made up word) of feelings don’t know they’ve bottled up their feelings. What they do know, is something is not quite right with their communication skills. Often others don’t “get them.” They find themselves being impatient, judgmental and sometimes challenged with social cues. Empathy doesn’t come naturally. On the flip side, the majority of the ones I have known are high achievers, annoyingly educated and can outwit anyone intellectually.

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According to Amelia Nagoski best-selling author of Burnout, emotions are biological cycles that happen in your body. Like digestion it has a beginning a middle and an end. How cool is that? We know that if digestion gets stuck somewhere in the middle of its cycle, some upsetting things will happen. The same is true for emotions.

They can show up as:
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● Never feeling loved (for the real you)

● Being judgmental

● Difficulty with vulnerability

● Emotional detachment

● Poor self-esteem

● Difficulty with patience

Why do people hold back emotions?

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry notes that emotional detachment can be the result of neglect, physical or emotional abuse, or even the loss of a caregiver through death or separation. In addition, it can be a response to being shamed or never witnessing feelings expressed as a young person.

Bottom line? Repression isn’t a healthy, long-term strategy. So let’s pull them out of our 501s and do this instead…

Release your repressed emotions

💕 Acknowledge that ignoring your emotions has been a barrier to forming authentic connections. They’re habitual and often unconscious, so this first step is often the toughest.

💕 Don’t judge yourself so harshly.

Repressing emotions is a survival mechanism we needed as children. You’ve likely experienced some form of trauma where it either felt uncomfortable or unsafe to express them. Instead, speak to yourself with compassion. Try to identify both the feeling and the real reason behind the feeling, not the B.S. our mind tries to convince us of.

💕 Practice using « I feel » statements.

It can sometimes be confusing when we’re not used to naming our feelings. Try to identify them by saying “I feel disappointed,” “I feel excited,” or “I feel embarrassed.” It gets to the heart of the matter. But saying “I feel like you’re an idiot” doesn’t work because it’s not a feeling.

Use this prompt:

“I feel >>emotion<< because >>situation<<.”

💕 Try EFT.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term non-invasive therapy designed to release energies that disrupt our wellbeing. It uses fingers (yours or a practitioners) to stimulate specific energy points. It is simple and can be practiced anywhere. This technique evolved from the theory that negative emotions are trapped in our body and need to be released to alleviate emotional suffering.

The best visual I can use for keeping emotions at bay is holding a beach ball underwater. It takes so much effort and its only a matter of time before it smacks you in the face. I highly recommend getting some sort of outside support if you believe you have many of the above characteristics .

My biggest wish for you this year is to PLAY MORE and bring your feelings in to awareness! Put an end to emotional repression and let’s work together to create genuine human connections.

Here’s to feeling truly loved,

Irene💕

Irene is the creator of the Happiness Within Reach program which coaches single, freedom loving women on the foundational skills of building a meaningful relationship with themselves so they can attain the love they dream of. She is an ICF, ACC Certified Personal Development coach who holds two certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy. Irene is an advisor to the Keeepr app as well as a dating coach to the Three Day Rule Matchmaking Company. She is also an Amazon best-selling co-author of the book How To Be Crazy Amazing During Difficult Times and has been interviewed on podcasts such as Chat With Leaders and Beyond Barriers. Her mission is to remind women of their indisputable worthiness and capability of creating the extraordinary soul on fire life that is their birthright.

You can reach me on the link below:

​Https://www.instagram.com/irene.abbou/

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