July 27, 2022

FROM TRAUMA TO TRANSFORMATION

Hello!

I hope this long weekend was velvety soft or highly energetic!

Whichever you needed most

Your continued support reading, and messaging me on Instagram are priceless! Thank you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about healing and identifying and celebrating growth vis-a-vis trauma. The word trauma is splashed on every social media outlet, and thats fantastic. Thanks to many therapists and coaches like Mastin Kipp, most of us have an idea of what trauma is. But (I recently learned its ok to start a sentence with But ) if you’re reading this, I know you can benefit from distinguishing your healing progress as well.

Healing: Irene’s definition: managing your childhood wounds so they do not negatively interfere with your everyday life. Taking the driver’s seat. Like Thelma & Louise style before the cliff scene

APA definition: the process of alleviating or attempting to alleviate mental or physical illness.

Small “t” Trauma: an emotional reaction -usually overlooked- to a distressing experience or a series of events. Ex: divorce, relational conflicts, legal issues, money worries, infidelity.

Big “T” Trauma: an emotional response to an impactful event such as rape, natural disasters, war that effect one’s life in a negative way. If not treated this can turn into bigger challenges such as addictions.

As my mom once said, there is no quick fix, Irene. So, hang in there and keep making room for feelings.

Here are some telltale signs you’re successfully turning trauma into glitter dust.

You Fire The Liar– Instead of accepting the lies your mind is dishing out as the truth, you question them. Youve kicked the lying jackass to the ground. You no longer numb out. Examples Below:

· You talk back to your inner critic out loud or in your head

· You know that all feelings are transient. You hang out with them for a bit, then let them pass. Even if you succeed occasionally.

· You instinctively use learned techniques to come back to the present moment

· You reflect on why this particular liar keeps coming up and try finding a suppressed feeling beneath it (anger could really be suppressed helplessness, sadness etc.)

You Stop Isolating

· Hibernating in bed, with oily hair alone is no longer your go to resolution

· You answer your phone when a friend calls and don’t pretend you’re fine.

· You reach out to your elevator people (the ones that shoot you up the energy ladder)

· You open parts of your life with friends and family for the first time

· You stop equating asking for help with weakness and practice interdependence

You Neutralize Old Triggers

· You can listen to songs, visit places and have conversations that previously made your heart sink without crumbling.

You Begin to Trust Yourself More

· You stop needing others validation or opinions to make forward movement

· You tell your truth despite the risk of losing something or someone.

· You follow through on your commitments

· You stop being over-critical of yourself

· You stop trying to control every minor detail

So sure, lets continue hiking, being creative, practicing CPT and EMDR, but lets ALSO CELEBRATE how far we’ve come!

Blessings,

Irene Abbou

For a complimentary soul session please click the link below:

https://coachingwithirenescheduling.as.me/?appointmentType=21016838

Instagram: Https://www.instagram.com/irene.abbou/

PS- I am excited to share that I have begun work on my newest course THE MARGOT METHOD. It concentrates on unapologetically guiding you to self-worth and healthy love.

July 26, 2022

Self-Manifesto-The Secret Life-Changing Document

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”. CARL JUNG

Hello Hello Hello!!

This one is going to be short and hopefully sweet but for sure a fabulous tool to never forget what is most meaningful to you.

What is a self-manifesto? It can be slightly different for everyone but heres my take on it….

SELF-MANIFESTO: IRENE’S DEFINITION

A Secret document that can transform your life
A Dialogue between your present and future self
A Written Reminder of who you are and what brings you meaning/makes life worthwhile
A Declaration of values & what you stand for

IF WE’RE UNCERTAIN OF WHAT WE LOVE, WHO WE ARE AND WHAT IS MEANINGFUL TO US…WHAT IS ALL OF THIS FOR?

Remember you are here for a reason. You have a gift to share that can only come through you, no matter that others may be on a similar journey. Nobody can be who you are and do what you do the way you do it. Nobody!

Your self-manifesto is a chance to reflect on what your gift is and where you want to focus your energy.

My Personal 2022 Manifesto

I am a safe nurturing space for my children & everyone else

I count my blessings everyday- getting there

I support, guide or put a smile on someones face everyday

I keep reaching for my professional goals (especially when I want to take a fuk-it-all and quit)

I tell my truth with kindness

I learn something new everyday

I prioritize my mental well-being

I fire my liar (my thinker)

I surrender to the things I can not change

Meaning + Pleasure = Happiness

The above is a science-backed formula from the science of Positive Psychology

Youre it!!

Irene Abbou

Irene is the creator of the The Margot Method Program which coaches single, professional women on the foundational skills of building a meaningful relationship with themselves so they can attain the love they dream of. She is an ICF, ACC Certified Personal Development coach who holds two certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy.

April 1, 2022

DREAM ACHIEVING GODESSES DO HARD THINGS

Hello My Gorgeous [FIRST NAME GOES HERE]!

My greatest professional dream has been consistent since age fifteen. The idea was crystal clear. Remind women of their undeniable self-worth so they could achieve their dreams. I’m a believer that self-worth is the fuel to women living their most authentic life, and these women do not raise the white flag in the face of adversity. They are flexible, agile wild cats that know it’s only a matter of time before they fall on their feet. They do hard things, scared.

Most people would say I was a late bloomer to the taking scary action part of achieving my dream. I was slow but steady, until something out of a Tony Robbins documentary occurred that shifted everything I believed was possible for me.

It was February 10^th 2020, a gorgeous afternoon in Los Angeles.

My heart is about to pound onto the hardwood floor in my living room, which would royally suck since my husband is a germaphobe.

My palms are bright red and on fire.

My mouth is so cotton ball dry I can barely get sound out.

The mean girl in my head starts again “who do you think you are being an interviewed expert on a live summit with guests like Jack Canfield?” She had a point. What if they realize I’m having trouble speaking without tears about to well up like traitors exposing my ultimate fear of looking stupid.

Me. The enthusiastic coach, preaching like a practiced priestess on her pulpit, “What you want is outside your comfort zone,” about to be on the receiving end of her message. I speak this comfort zone phrase daily with a whole heart and an unwavering belief. I wasn’t prepared for the ultimate challenge that tested my courage to step into the arena when it came to my biggest fear of public speaking.

Public speaking was a few 100 miles past the comfort zone yard line of what my ego could handle. It became crystal clear, that in order to support women to achieve their greatest dreams (with the impact of my dream), I would have to break down my armor and risk being seen. I knew I had to face my dragon to encourage others to meet their own.

The interview was a 30 min surreal experience. I couldn’t help being distracted by my own stoic reflection on the Zoom application displayed on my screen. The interviewers’ questions were rhythmic and each sent a low grade current down my belly. At about halftime, my responses seemed to come from outside of me. My practice of becoming the observer magically kicked in at the perfect time. I was able to see myself in conversation with a carefree confident Oprah-Esque ease. My heart took the reigns and my fear subsided.

The magic words were spoken, “where can people find you” and the highest sense of accomplishment seeped through my veins.

I felt bulletproof.

It didn’t matter that it may take years before I make the impact of my dreams. What counted was, that after all of these years of mastering the art of live video escapism, I showed up and did my version of hard.

Fast forward a few weeks, one of my biggest dreams of being interviewed on a podcast came true. Twice! With my momentum at an all-time high, I also signed two separate consulting contracts.

We all have our personal fear dragons.

The next time yours shouts “who do you think you are to (fill in the blank)?”

Stand tall and simply respond “who am I not to?”

And continue ruling you my sister.

With Love Always!!

Irene

Preview of my first Podcast first interview

Irene is the creator of the Happiness Within Reach program which coaches high-achievers on how to create a more holistic approach to success. This teaches leaders evidence-based techniques to building more meaningful interpersonal connections while simultaneously growing their self-confidence and productivity. She is an ICF, ACC Certified life and business coach who holds two certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy. Irene has helped hundreds of professionals get reacquainted with their hearts most affirming personal and professional desires and supports them to take action despite their fears. Her mission is to remind her clients of their indisputable worthiness and capability of creating an extraordinary life aligned with their highest truth.https//happinesswithinreach.com

The Subtle Art of Attracting a Modern Masculine Man

“God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met.”

― Farrah Fawcett

Are you an ambitious powerhouse woman on a path to financial freedom but also desire to attract a successful confident man?

Have you devoted many, many years of your life to achieving a kick-ass career you can feel proud of but a small part of you feels discouraged with online dating? Are you worried you wouldn’t even know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like if it bit your butt on one of your nature hikes? You’re are not alone.

It’s common to not be enthusiastic about getting back in the dating scene when your comfortable happy place is creating visions for your next business deal. It does take emotional and physical energy to get your body to meet-ups, networking events or even a best friends dinner party where you were asked to look hot as a great single guy would also be joining. And hey…you just never know right?

Since you’re already Queen Bee at managing and orchestrating systems and processes to get great results in business, we are going to use this to your advantage! I encourage you to perceive attracting a partner as your next top priority project.

It is scientifically proven that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives so being proactive about attracting your soul mate is clearly worthwhile and highly recommended for a happier life. Dan Gilbert a Harvard psychologist teaches us that married people are significantly the happiest, when compared to cohabitating, singles, divorced and ones that are separated.

I know first-hand that it’s 100% possible to attract a man that is strong, confident and wants a partner to share the finer things in life with. It takes getting familiar and implementing a few skills you may not have even know lived inside of you. I’m going to concentrate on the one I find to be the most transformative for badass boss ladies.

Are you ready for it?

CONNECT TO YOUR FEMININE ENERGY.

Your feminine or yin energy is the most powerful source of energy you possess! This is especially true to becoming irresistible to a masculine man that naturally wants to provide and protect. These men are motivated to be the pursuer. They find irresistible the part of a woman that is graceful, mysterious and playful. Women that are non-reactive, flowing with what is and accepting when others extend their support works like a magnet for them. It has a way of directing their attention as it emits an aura of self-worth and abundance, and that’s sexy as hell!

Some other ways to re-establish a friendship with your feminine side looks like allowing a man to make the first moves (first few moves), looking him in the eyes and smiling (don’t physically move towards him first), appreciate his compliments, affection and attempts to be the problem solver.

Making time to be creative (cooking, writing, painting, dancing) also drives our divine feminine to shine. This occurs through slowing down our prefrontal cortex (the portion of our brain responsible for self-censorship and inhibition) which turns down the volume of our inner critic. The idea is to experience our activities, enter the world of our senses without so much concern for the outcome.

Ambitious women can absolutely attract and create a fulfilling partnership with a masculine man. The secret sauce for this power couple to thrive is for women to remove their warrior armor after work and shift in to her feminine superpowers.

I am sending you love and hope you are safe and keeping your chin up.

xoxox,

Irene

If you are looking for more support and guidance on your journey to developing the foundational skills of thriving relationships and building your self-worth, you can set up a complimentary soul session with me at www.happinesswithinreach.com under Schedule.

Irene is the creator of the Happiness Within Reach program which coaches ambitious women to open their hearts to self-love while forming deep and vulnerable relationships with others. She is an ICF, ACC Certified life and business coach who holds certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy.