Blog – Page 4 – Happiness Within Reach

April 1, 2022

The Subtle Art of Attracting a Modern Masculine Man

“God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met.”

― Farrah Fawcett

Are you an ambitious powerhouse woman on a path to financial freedom but also desire to attract a successful confident man?

Have you devoted many, many years of your life to achieving a kick-ass career you can feel proud of but a small part of you feels discouraged with online dating? Are you worried you wouldn’t even know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like if it bit your butt on one of your nature hikes? You’re are not alone.

It’s common to not be enthusiastic about getting back in the dating scene when your comfortable happy place is creating visions for your next business deal. It does take emotional and physical energy to get your body to meet-ups, networking events or even a best friends dinner party where you were asked to look hot as a great single guy would also be joining. And hey…you just never know right?

Since you’re already Queen Bee at managing and orchestrating systems and processes to get great results in business, we are going to use this to your advantage! I encourage you to perceive attracting a partner as your next top priority project.

It is scientifically proven that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives so being proactive about attracting your soul mate is clearly worthwhile and highly recommended for a happier life. Dan Gilbert a Harvard psychologist teaches us that married people are significantly the happiest, when compared to cohabitating, singles, divorced and ones that are separated.

I know first-hand that it’s 100% possible to attract a man that is strong, confident and wants a partner to share the finer things in life with. It takes getting familiar and implementing a few skills you may not have even know lived inside of you. I’m going to concentrate on the one I find to be the most transformative for badass boss ladies.

Are you ready for it?

CONNECT TO YOUR FEMININE ENERGY.

Your feminine or yin energy is the most powerful source of energy you possess! This is especially true to becoming irresistible to a masculine man that naturally wants to provide and protect. These men are motivated to be the pursuer. They find irresistible the part of a woman that is graceful, mysterious and playful. Women that are non-reactive, flowing with what is and accepting when others extend their support works like a magnet for them. It has a way of directing their attention as it emits an aura of self-worth and abundance, and that’s sexy as hell!

Some other ways to re-establish a friendship with your feminine side looks like allowing a man to make the first moves (first few moves), looking him in the eyes and smiling (don’t physically move towards him first), appreciate his compliments, affection and attempts to be the problem solver.

Making time to be creative (cooking, writing, painting, dancing) also drives our divine feminine to shine. This occurs through slowing down our prefrontal cortex (the portion of our brain responsible for self-censorship and inhibition) which turns down the volume of our inner critic. The idea is to experience our activities, enter the world of our senses without so much concern for the outcome.

Ambitious women can absolutely attract and create a fulfilling partnership with a masculine man. The secret sauce for this power couple to thrive is for women to remove their warrior armor after work and shift in to her feminine superpowers.

I am sending you love and hope you are safe and keeping your chin up.

xoxox,

Irene

If you are looking for more support and guidance on your journey to developing the foundational skills of thriving relationships and building your self-worth, you can set up a complimentary soul session with me at www.happinesswithinreach.com under Schedule.

Irene is the creator of the Happiness Within Reach program which coaches ambitious women to open their hearts to self-love while forming deep and vulnerable relationships with others. She is an ICF, ACC Certified life and business coach who holds certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy.

How to Prioritize to Reach your Soul on Fire Goals Fast Broadcast

Hello, My Gorgeous Ones!

If you’re anything like I used to be, you may start each morning half past dead, on your third cup of almond milk latte anxious as all get out to confront the boxes of your never-ending to-do list. Then you may take an extra 20 (mixed-up minutes) to determine what it is you need to tackle first to make it a productive day. The truth is, there really is an easier way. Setting aside 20 minutes each evening to determine our highest priority for the following day, would allow us more free time to do what we love while making real progress to set our goals on fire.

There are various schools of thought for prioritizing our time, but I’d like to share the one method that has made my life so much easier. Let me repeat …sooooooo much easier! Here it goes.

Think of all of the items on your to-do list as little pockets of excess fat stuck to your body. I apologize for the visual, but stay with me. Some of these pockets are fifty pounds of saturated fat, while others are just a measly two or three.Your goal is to identify the two most substantial pockets of fat (your most dreaded, difficult essential tasks) and get that done first thing in the morning before allowing yourself to begin on any other project.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits and someone I have great respect for, often speaks of The Ivy Lee Method. This is a method formulated in the early 1900s by a successful American publicity expert named Ivy Lee. The story is that one of the richest men in this period, C. Schwab hired Lee to help him increase productivity in his steel corporation. When asked how much he was going to charge him, Lee responded, “nothing, unless it works. Just give me fifteen minutes with each of your executives. If after three months it works, you can pay me what you think it was worth.”

Ivy Lee’s suggestions to the executives for optimal peak productivity was the following:

1. At the end of each workday write down no more than six tasks you need to complete the next day, to achieve your objectives;

2. Rank these in order of importance;

3. Each morning, begin with the most important task and DO NOT MOVE ON TO THE NEXT UNTIL THIS ONE IS COMPLETE;

4. Work your way through the rest of the tasks from the most important to the least;

5. At the end of the day, move any unfinished tasks to a new list for the following day; and

6. Repeat this process daily.

The Ivy Lee Method worked so well that Mr. C. Schwab ended up writing Ivy Lee a check of $25,000 (the equivalent of over $400,000 today).

If You’re Not Sure of What Your Priorities Should Be:

(Answer the following questions and keep them as clear as possible.)

What are your soul on fire goals personal/business for 2020?
What are your values (these should align with your goals)?
What will your future self thank you for accomplishing?
What are your responsibilities?

Extra Hacks to Succeed:

Set an evening reminder, so you don’t forget to write your list;
Do Not Disturb: Put your phone in another room and turn off the pings and digs until your tasks are complete;
Set Time Blocks: Buy a kitchen timer and set it for an hour before beginning task one. When it rings, take a 10-minute break then repeat timer until you are done. This will provide your brain the break it needs to be diligent;
Print and track your accomplished tasks on a tracker to satisfy your minds desire for immediate rewards; and
A small reward at the end of the day if you shed the two most prominent fat pockets is a great way to stay motivated to repeat the following day

My wish for you this week is to utilize the Ivy Lee Method to get your most essential tasks done, so you reach the goals that make you excited to wake up in the morning. Please remember to always integrate self-care or brain breaks throughout the day, so you do not burn out or get sick.

Feel free to email me at irene@happinesswithinreach if you would like me to email you a free Habit Tracker Worksheet to more easily track your successes and feel like you are moving forward.

Irene is the creator of the Happiness Within Reach program, which coaches professional success-driven women to open their hearts to self-love while forming deep and vulnerable relationships with others. She is an ICF, ACC Certified life and business coach who holds certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy. This integrates forty years of scientific research, based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. Irene has helped hundreds of women get reacquainted with their hearts most affirming desires. Her mission is to remind women of their indisputable worthiness and capability of creating the extraordinary soul on fire life that is their birthright.

The Most Important Steps to Radical Self-Confidence

Ever notice how the dream-achieving goddesses show up with this irresistible larger than life je ne sais pas quoi aura? Do you ever wonder where they learned to command not only everybody else’s attention, but yours as well?

Does someone else’s success lead to a bit of frustration when their education and skills don’t compare to yours, but they are killing it in a field that you are most passionate about? I’ve been there and it’s a difficult chair to be sitting in. But more importantly, are you interested in knowing why this scenario happens so often?

Through the research of Claire Shipman and Katty Kay authors of The Confidence Code, success is connected more closely with confidence than competence. The evidence shows that when it comes to getting ahead, confidence is more important than ability.

You’re probably asking yourself well since self-confidence is fundamental to our success, how do we get more of it?

Let’s begin with the good news, which is, confidence is a skill all of us can cultivate. The only pre-requisite to joining this club is a willingness to try and view the discomfort of failure as the most important stepping stone to authentic confidence.

An example of a missed opportunity is when women looking for a job never even apply due to their lack of confidence. According to the internal report done by Hewlett Packard, men apply to jobs when meeting only 60% of qualifications. Women on the other hand apply only when they meet 100%. This has absolutely nothing to do with the women’s capabilities but instead Imposture Syndrome (not feeling deserving of getting the job), which resulted in women not trying, hence missing out on acquiring the position.

All of this ties back to what I like to call the perfectionist versus the risk-taker. The risk-taker knows that the only thing she truly risks by taking action is an emotion. She also acknowledges that the cost of inaction will perpetuate the negative story she tells herself of who she is, her character.To reach dream-achieving confidence, we must BE the type of person who does what is necessary to be confident first. Women need to take the actions of a confident person, hence doing whatever they believe could be the next right step, and being ok with failure. I’ll even go as far as to say SEEK FAILURE as the more failures you get, the closer you will be to succeeding. Would you tell your 2yr old niece who’s trying to walk but continuously falls on her cute little butt, “you know… maybe you’re not cut out for this walking thing?” Of course not! You would encourage her to keep trying until she walks!

Tim Ferris bestselling author of The 4-Hour Workweek wrote: If you telescope out ten years and know with 100% certainty that it is a path of disappointment and regret and define risk as “the likelihood of an irreversible negative outcome,” inaction is the most significant risk of all.” The risk-taker understands that the more she takes action and fails, the more she masters her skills, and with mastery comes greater self-confidence! And guess what? The more confident we earn, the more action we take and the bigger our accomplishments.

Here are the foolproof steps to build radical self-confidence:

1.Willingness to try

2.Take Action

3.Fail

4. Adjust

5.Repeat

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost more than 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed” ~Michael Jordan

May we all wake up each morning with the willingness to try, get in that ring, consistently fail forward to our most confident, playful version of ourselves.

With Love,

Irene

Https://www.instagram.com/irene.abbou/

Irene is the creator of the Margot Method which coaches professional success driven women to open their hearts to self-love while forming deep and vulnerable relationships with others. She is an ICF, ACC Certified life and business coach who holds certifications from the University of Pennsylvania on Positive Psychology and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy. This integrates forty years of scientific research, based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. Irene has helped hundreds of women get reacquainted with their hearts most

MODERN FEMININE SUCCESS

Professional women’s guide to true fulfillment

By: Irene Abbou

Have you ever experienced an a-ha moment that transformed your entire perception of what was important? About six months ago on my 6am jog/walk in Hancock Park, while hugging Edward my favorite cherry blossom tree, something hit me like a ton of bricks. It was as if a mish mashed message I have always known existed at the deepest center of my gut put on newly prescribed superhero glasses.

What if the secret to modern day success is living our lives with a more holistic feminine approach?

You know how we were taught that if we just reached these mile stones like graduate college, accomplish more, compete more, and prove our value more; we would finally have earned the right to happiness in all aspects of our lives?

The holistic feminine approach says the opposite…its foundation being, create space for happiness and schedule what feeds our body (exercise, rest, healthy nutrients), heart (genuine relationships) and soul (play, spiritual practices, quiet, nature) first. Second, be 100% clear on how we want to feel and who we want to be more of. Thirdly, start everyday with the intention of embodying this new version of you. Productivity and results will flow naturally when we give our divine feminine energies a voice to collaborate with our masculine strengths.

For example lets say you recognize that you are a control chaser but you desire to feel more flexible and be more vulnerable; instead of succumbing to the autopilot version of you that gets triggered at certain weekly meetings,

Ask yourself:

Is the stress I am inflicting on myself via my thoughts getting me closer to being more flexible and vulnerable?

Why was being more flexible and vulnerable important to me?

Is this current thought useful?

What do I need to let go of to embody this new version of myself?

How can I integrate a 5 min rest and repair ritual when I become emotionally charged?

The holistic feminine approach is being committed to how we want to be as women, growing the whole self while being intentional about how we desire to feel while reaching our professional goals.

Shift from:

Getting Ahead to Feeling Alive
Competitive to Collaborative
Looks Good to Feels Good
Results to Experience

Although this idea of embracing our feminine superpowers goes against our cultures, get ahead at all costs path to the American success story, it’s the key to fulfillment! Imagine a culture that encourages real human connections, collaboration and a sense of safety in and out of our workplace. We can create this for ourselves, everyday.

This is modern feminine success.

This is what I know is possible for all of us.

Irene is the creator of the 90 DAYS TO HAPPY program which coaches success driven women to open their hearts to self-love while forming deep and vulnerable relationships with others. She is and ICF Certified Life coach, trained in the Gottman Method for couples therapy and is also certified by University of Pennsylvania in Positive Psychology Applications & Interventions.

Do You Need to Grow a Non-Judgmental Attitude?

Do you ever find yourself knee-deep in a shit show of regret after being overly judgmental with someone? Each day we subconsciously make small critical judgements that can have some very big effects on our overall happiness and our relationships with others. We scrutinize Instagram clothing choices or lack thereof-, the car they drive, how quickly they accomplish a job, their intellect and whether or not they’re worthy of dating.

Even though we genuinely want to respond graciously, personal opinions can quickly veer into the territory of exploding brain matter, boiling blood and hurling slurs. This could permanently damage a relationship. The ego is conditioned to fight with word daggers since it keeps us safe, but it also prevents us from connecting. It prevents us growing.

Below are some ways you could be blocking healthy communication.

Looking down on a friend for their choices in (fill in the blank)
Criticizing your partner for not perfectly placing the dishes in the dishwasher
Second guessing a close friendship due to political differences

These reactions all come from impulses (responding without thought of consequences) rather than responsiveness. Vince Gowmon author of Let the Fire Burn, has a brilliant way of looking at it: “Instead of trying to stop ourselves from thinking judgmental thoughts, an easier way is to look through the eyes of wisdom and compassion”.

It only takes a nano-second pause for awareness to be acknowledged

Leo Babauta in his simple 4-step method to avoid being judgmental, uses DUAL

(and no, that doesn’t mean hand your sparring partner a sword):

Don’t pass judgment. We can’t assume what’s best for anyone but ourselves (and maybe our children–and even that’s debatable, just ask a teenager)
Understand. What’s their backstory? We can never know what unseen trauma someone has endured.
Accept (try to). We’re all doing the best we can. Yes, even your self-centered little brother and or emotionally numb mother
Love them…and yourself. This is not a “love is blind” type of thing where you stuff it down with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Loving someone despite the differences changes lives. It diffuses turmoil and leads to a brighter existence without unnecessary frustration. We’re all here to evolve our way back to our true nature–Love.

Here are some common impulsive reactions we’ve all been guilty of, and some response substitutions that are much more helpful:

❌ You aren’t doing this right

✔️This is different from what I expected

❌ If only you would stop…

✔️ It seems as though __X__ might be getting in our way

❌ Why did you do that?

✔️ What motivated you to do that?

❌ You’re wrong

✔️ My experience has been…

✔️ I see this differently…

❌ You’re lying. I don’t believe that.

✔️ I’m confused about…

❌ That’s ridiculous

✔️ I hadn’t considered that. How will that work for both of us?

❌ You make me mad

❌ You’re making me feel…

✔️ I get upset when…

✔️ I feel…

It takes effort to build a communication bridge between two humans especially when we haven’t dug deep enough to find commonality. The antidote is curiosity about the other person and where they’re coming from.

I challenge you

👉🏻👉🏽👉🏿 Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to observe your thoughts and triggers today. Notice when you want to spontaneously punch someone (call them names, push them into traffic) you catch my drift. Then…you have a very small window between your desired reaction and your actual one. PAUSE and take two deep breaths. Only then give yourself permission to respond with compassion or tell them you need to excuse yourself and take a ten-minute break. Release the constriction in your body so you can return to the conversation with poise.

Have a wonderful Thursday!

Irene Abbou

Im very interested in your thoughts and any ideas on new topics 🙂

You can always reach me on Instagram

Https://www.instagram.com/irene.abbou/